Couples and Family Therapy

Couples Therapy

Couples who are having difficulties in their relationship can really benefit from a counselling session that focuses entirely on the relationship not on who’s “right” or “wrong” but on what’s happening between you.

If you’re feeling nervous about the first session you’re not alone

A lot of couples arrive at their first appointment feeling unsure, guarded, or even a bit anxious. That’s completely normal especially if you’ve never done anything like this before.

Most couples find that once the session begins, things feel more structured and less scary than they expected. Many people leave the first appointment feeling relieved, clearer, and more hopeful than when they walked in.

What happens in the first couples counselling session?

The first session is usually an information gathering session. Your counsellor will help you slow things down and get a sense of:

• what brought you in now

• the history of your relationship including what’s worked well in the past

• the concerns each of you is carrying

• what you’ve already tried to improve things

• what you’d like to be different going forward

This session isn’t about forcing you to “fix everything” straight away. It’s about understanding the bigger picture and helping you both feel heard.

“Will the counsellor take sides?”

This is one of the most common worries couples have and it makes sense.

A professional couples counsellor is trained to stay neutral and avoid personal bias.

The goal isn’t to decide who’s at fault. It’s to understand the patterns you’re both stuck in and help you shift them.

How couples counselling can help practically

Couples counsellors use a range of approaches and techniques depending on what you’re dealing with and what suits you as a couple.

Sessions may include:

• guided conversations so you can actually hear each other without it escalating

• learning new communication tools especially for conflict, shutdown, or defensiveness

• identifying unhelpful patterns like repeating the same argument in different forms

• role modelling and role play to practise new ways of responding in real time

• building insight into triggers and needs what’s underneath the anger, distance, or mistrust

Often, counselling helps narrow the focus so you’re not trying to tackle everything at once. That can be a turning point for couples who feel overwhelmed or stuck.

Common issues couples bring to counselling

Every relationship is different but some of the most common areas of conflict include:

• communication breakdowns

• different values or expectations

• trust concerns including after breaches of trust

• feeling disconnected or “more like housemates”

• recurring conflict that never gets resolved

• stress from parenting, work, finances, or extended family

The long term benefits can be real

While relationship counselling can feel intimidating at first, many couples find it helps them resolve current distress and build skills that last.

Research and lived experience both suggest the benefits can continue for years especially when both partners come in with openness and a willingness to try something different.

You don’t need to be “at breaking point” to come to counselling. Sometimes the most powerful work happens when couples come in early before resentment has had years to build.

Family Therapy

At Mental Health Counselling Geelong we provide Family Therapy where we will work with a variety of different situations from adult estrangements (adult family work), parents who need parenting support, parents who are separated or are wanting to separate, blended families, families where a significant person has passed away and families where there is a teen or child struggling with the complexities of life.

A teen or child might be struggling for a variety of reasons so it is crucial that the Family Therapist not only holds the skills to work with the family but also has extensive knowledge about childhood development and the child/adolescent brain.

Quite often, school counsellors and other professionals will refer a family to Family Therapy because individual counselling isn’t getting the desired results.

And these days, more and more parents are realising that Family Therapy might be the fastest and most effective way to help a struggling young person or child.

What happens in Family Therapy?

One person (typically a parent) makes contact with the Family Therapist and outlines the situation. From there the Family Therapist will have an initial meeting with parents together, separately (if they are separated), or with the whole family group together.

A Family Therapist likes to hear everyone’s perspective on a problem, including the opinion of young children. Once the Family Therapist has understood the problem they will give the family feedback and outline a plan for the work that is likely to follow.

Sessions do not always involve every person in a family group – some things aren’t appropriate for children or adolescents to hear, for instance.

Sessions are often a mix of parent sessions, whole family sessions and sessions for teens/children on their own.